Keeping track of children in crowds

If we are going to be out at night among a crowd of people, I bring along glow sticks that bend into necklaces or bracelets. Ali Adem loves these brightly colored adornments, and the bright neon colors make him easy to spot in the dark. All it takes is a couple of twists, and they will glow for hours, sometimes even days.

We also play a game before leaving the house to see if we can both remember what the other one is wearing. We look carefully at the clothes we both have on. Then we take turns closing our eyes and describing exactly how the other one is dressed. If we happen to become separated, this information could be vital to police or other officials. Fortunately, he likes to wear brightly colored clothes, so he tends to be easier to spot in a crowd.

I also keep an up-to-date photo of him in my wallet. This is partly due to the fact that I like to see his face smiling at me whenever I open my wallet. But, it is also important to have a current photo on hand just in case of an emergency.

We have talked many times about what we would do if we get separated on a busy bus, tram or metro. Ali Adem knows that if, for instance, he is somehow left on a metro platform, unable to follow me onto the train, he is to go immediately to an attendant or employee and wait for me to return. He knows that I will get off at the next stop and come back to find him. If, by chance, the situation is reversed, and he is the one on the metro car, and I am left on the platform, he is to get off at the next stop and wait with an employee until I catch up to him. So far we have never had to do this, but it is good to know that he understands what to do if he has to manage on his own in an emergency situation.

When we are out together, I sometimes ask him to stop, look around and decide who he would go to for help. He knows to look for police first and ask them for assistance if possible. He recognizes the different police uniforms in Turkey and understands that he can approach any of them for help.

If we are at a park or beach, before getting down to the business of having fun, we designate a place to meet if we become separated. The best place to identify is one that has a responsible adult there who could help if needed, for instance, an entry gate staffed by a security guard or other employee. Together, we repeat several times where we will go if we cannot find each other. If possible, we make up a rhyme so that it is easier to remember.

Ali Adem has our address and home phone number memorized, but cell phone numbers are a bit more problematic. I pin a business card with all of my contact information into a pocket of his shirt or pants. That way, if he is lost, he knows that he can ask a police officer or shopkeeper to call me and tell me where he is. When he is a little older, we will probably buy him his own cell phone for use in emergencies.

When we are traveling and staying in hotels, I make sure to tuck the hotel’s card into his pocket or backpack. That way, he can ask for help in getting back to where we are staying if necessary.

I know parents who write their cell phone numbers on their children’s arms with nontoxic, permanent markers. These will wash off after a day or two, but make it easy for small children to always have your phone number readily available. Another good idea, especially for small children, is to use hospital ID bracelets. These are readily available in medical supply stores, and names and cell phone numbers can be written on the tags.

It is important that children know how to stay calm and stay put if they become separated from their parents or caregivers. By anticipating possible scenarios and talking about what to do in each one, children will be better able to not panic and find help.