Like the idiom says, “You can't judge a book by its cover.” In other words, you can't rely on outward appearances to know what something or someone is really like. When I lived in Yeşilyurt 20 years ago, my landlord was a doctor. He was a man of property. He was very wealthy. But you would never know it by how he dressed or by the car he drove. However, more often than not in Turkey, foreigners now comment on how pretentious people appear. Social background, family and social circle are major factors in determining a person's status. Have you ever noticed when you are with your Turkish friends that they tend to prefer to associate only with their equals? Of course, as a foreigner, you are in a class all your own -- that is, “yabancı.” How a local may go about establishing prestige and social status differs from most Westerners. Here are just a few of my observations of basic tenets of local society I'd like to list for you to ponder and consider:
Respect in this culture is crucial. The amount of respect one receives is noticed.
Class rigidity is obvious as the poor and uneducated are often looked down upon.
Having no prestigious contacts (“tanıdık” in Turkish) who know someone who knows someone else, etc., is a setback and is neither respected nor esteemed.
Being friends of “so and so,” we then become people worth knowing.
Making friends of colleagues is acceptable but not a maid or doorman's family and their friends.
It's true we can find varying degrees of class rigidity in different societies, but it is more prevalent in some than in others. Let's just consider briefly transportation: You can see patterns that support class rigidity. If you have traveled much in the Middle East, you will have met people who try not to associate with those they perceive as below their class, so they do not travel by city bus or by metro.
When I was growing up there was a railway line not far from where I lived. Occasionally when the adults were sitting around discussing current events and local gossip, you would hear them say about someone, “They come from a different side of the railway tracks.” In our case, it is true that on the other side of the tracks living standards were one notch down. Perhaps this is how this phrase came about. The adults were implying that one person was not good enough for another.
I often wonder if the metro, when it is finished on the Anatolian side, will really solve the traffic problem that exists. It is not just about too many cars on the road and better transport being needed. Will people really stop using their cars and take public transport? It has happened in other countries in the Middle East. Egypt has a serious traffic problem. Egyptian upper-class women will not use public transport even though it is more efficient and faster. They continue to either drive themselves or be chauffeur driven across town. What is the real issue? Class rigidity. People refuse to be placed in a classless setting of equality which is required when sharing a train such as a metro.
The result of a rigid class structure is that it determines where you work, where you choose to live and with whom you are friends. As a foreigner, in order to be more effective in this society, you can gain respect through your dress and mode of living and being respectful to all. There is a fine line between showing respect and appearing weak or soft. In the Middle East, humility is not seen as strength.
I remember years ago when I first came to Turkey and was invited to some Turks' homes. They lavished me with good food and hospitality. After a few visits in different homes, I realized that the formal living room was very important. Nearly every home I'd been in was beautifully decorated with stately looking ornate furniture which was terribly uncomfortable. You had to have a chandelier hung from the ceiling!
An Arab proverb states, “Show me your friends, and I will tell you who you are.”
Note: Charlotte McPherson is the author of “Culture Smart: Turkey, 2005.” Please keep your questions and observations coming: I want to ensure this column is a help to you, Today’s Zaman’s readers. Email: c.mcpherson@todayszaman.com
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